shame on you...

you sure find out who your true friends are when you undergo surgery.

a small group of wonderful friends have come to visit and help me in my current helpless state. those who could not be here physically have called almost daily.

what is strange to me is that friends in florida, oregon, and kansas have called to check on my well-being, while friends who share the same area code (and frankly zip code) haven't bothered to even say hello. you know who you are.

i wasn't expecting bouquets of flowers from you, just your friendship. those who volunteered to visit or help me around the house, even do my hair...where are you? i have no place to go. i'm ready.

or am i asking too much of you? am i that much of a burden to you?

the extent of my surgery caught us all off-guard. we knew i'd be limited following the procedure, but with a bankart and a bicep tendon tear, i'm essentially a prisoner in my own home. while tim is working, i'm connected to a cumbersome ice machine that cools my throbbing shoulder. the problem is while i can disconnect from it, i can't reconnect one-handed. this means if i have to go to the bathroom and i am alone, i have to carry a 15 lb. cooler and tubing with me. it is heavy and dangerous for me to do this. i hurt myself today doing this, but i had no choice. my shoulder is encased in a heavily padded immobilizer sling that limits all my physical activities. not that i have the energy to do much. just typing this one-handed will wipe me out for the rest of the afternoon.

my two moms have been coming over as much as they can to care for me. instead of catching up on errands, my mom will spend her second day off this week driving an hour north to care for me. i hate asking this of her, but i need her right now, both physically and emotionally. my mom-in-law andrea was here yesterday, this morning, and she's even coming back late this afternoon. she has been awesome as well, and doesn't complain when i need her to run to the store for ice or food. i've just enjoyed her company more than anything.

meanwhile, katie is also coming over this afternoon. the second day in a row. she lives in oakland, i am not convenient to her, but she's coming to make sure i have lunch today. bethany is driving up tonight. nevermind she has to work all day in the city and hire a dogwalker to take her darling zoe-dog out tonight. she's doing it because she cares about me and to give my exhausted husband an evening off. irika is driving an hour north to see me tomorrow even though she really needs to study for her nursing classes.

don't even get me started on tim, who is working 16-hour days between work and nursing me. i can't do anything right now. it is tim at 7am getting me dressed, and tim running to the store after work to pick up sprite and yet another bag of ice for my shoulder. he's the one enduring my cries of frustration, temper tantrums, and cleaning up after the percocet and my dinner fail to digest properly. tim has the most thankless job in the world and once again, with the exception of a few, where are our friends?

i have been to your wedding and baby showers, to the hospital to greet your new arrivals. i have helped nurse some of you back to health, made meals for you and your family duing times of illness or loss. i have stayed up till the wee hours of the morning talking to you through your divorce proceedings, break-ups, lay-offs, etc. i am not claiming to be perfect, but i have tried to be there during your most pressing times. i am stunned at the way i have been ignored by most and moved to tears by the kindness of so few of you. thank you to all those who have taken the time to help or to just check-in and say hello. you don't know how much that means to me. to the rest, shame on you.