For the love of God, I do not love David Hasselhoff!
In fact, I deplore him. And yet somehow, the Hoff and I have become synonymous. I feel the need to defend my reputation from being a Hoff groupie...so here goes.
It all started as a joke. Someone sent me the "Hooked on a Feeling" video last year and after laughing hysterically, sent it out to all my friends with a sense of humor. (If you haven't seen it and need some comic relief, you have to visit http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2433520 immediately!)I didn't realize the monster this would create.
Soon afterwards the strangest David Hasselhoff items began arriving in my inbox. First there were the annual Hoff calendars, followed by random links to Hoff photos and games where you can shave Hasselhoff's chest hair off. Then when it was announced he was leaving his wife, I must of received 20 emails from friends to alert me to the news. It began to occur to me that every time my friends saw anything Hoff from Knight Rider to Baywatch, they thought of me. I find this thought incredibly disturbing. Associate me with being funny or kind...but a Hasselhoff fan? NOOOOO!
The final straw was coming home in November from vacation to find a seven-foot-long cardboard cutout of David Hasselhoff on my bed. My "wonderful" friend Rick was housesitting and decided that I was missing a larger-than-life Hasselhoff in my home.
I can't even begin to tell you how unsettling this cutout is in real life, and how much it scared the begeezers out of me after a 26-hour travel day from hell. If the home attack wasn't enough of a violation, I returned to work the next day only to find some other "friends" had attacked my cubicle with images of David Hasselhoff that were so perturbing I couldn't even concentrate. (Why the theme of David Hasselhoff and animals? Has PETA been alerted?) Not only that, a new employee was hired that week and I had to introduce myself as the woman with the Hoff crap in her cube. You just know he was telling people about "that crazy woman" at work who has some strange Hasselhoff fetish.
So to my "friends" stop it already. I have all the Hoff one girl can handle for a lifetime.
Ooga chaka...ooga chaka...
