The man making my heart go all aflutter is the star of Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls. Over the past six weeks, I have spent many hours watching Man vs. Wild, and I actually attribute some of my post-surgical healing to Bear. Was it his amazing courage of surviving in various and dangerous landscapes that aided me? No. Was it the fact he once broke his back in three places in a skydiving acciednt, only to recover and become the youngest climber to summit Mt. Everest? No...
Bear helped me heal by providing a weekly glimmer of hope. He gave me something to look forward to during a time of intense pain and self-loathing. Specifically, it was the possibility of him removing his shirt (or more) that kept me going.
Oh, I know what you're thinking. Dirty bird (Tweet! Tweet!) In my defense, the show is on the Discovery Channel...so it's more than just eye candy, right? One never knows when they could end up in a situation where survival skills become necessary. It's good to be prepared.
And sometimes, as Man vs. Wild has taught me, you have to strip to live.
For those of you who haven't caught an episode of Man vs. Wild yet, it is much like another Discovery Channel show, called Survivorman. Both shows target couch potatoes (like me) who get their kicks watching these men find their way out of remote and unforgiving landscapes to safety. I've learned how to survive should I ever find myself lost in the European Alps or the wilds of Alaska. I'll be able to manage the barren volcanic landscape of Kilauea, and the scorching heat of Utah's Moab desert. The Kenya Savanna episode even taught me how to avoid being trampled by elephants should I ever find myself on the wrong side of an angry herd of pachyderms.
The biggest difference between the two shows are the stylings of the hosts. While Bear is young, gutsy to a fault, and hot, Survivorman's host, Les Stroud, comes across as older, less of a risk-taker, and his physical appearance suggests he's been in one too many survival situations over the years. (Although, I think I trust the survivor skills of Les more than Bear. Not sure why, maybe him being less handsome makes him more credible?)
Bear's good looks sneak up on you. He has some goofy facial features and expressions that become endearing the more you watch him. Package that with a cute British accent and one nicely-toned body, and suddenly my interest in Man vs. Wild has little to do with Bear making his way out of the Rocky Mountains alive, and much more to do with his charming and often shirtless self.
My favorite moment thus far has to be the Alps episode where Bear shows his viewers how to survive if they ever find themselves off their sofas and submerged in a frozen mountain lake. After clawing his way out of thin ice and freezing water, Bear strips off all his wet clothes in order to avoid hypothermia. A fire he set before jumping in the lake burns out, so to keep the blood flowing to his fingers and toes and to relight his fire, he starts doing push-ups...naked.
This is on basic cable my friends. God bless America!
Suddenly, I don't mind staying in on Friday nights anymore. I have a hot standing date at 9 PM each week, and if I miss it, the DVR is always there for me to capture the show. I try to ignore the gross shit he does like eating maggots or sucking on fresh elephant dung to get hydrated (yes, you read that right...gross). I know it has to be love because when Bear kills a jack rabbit with a stick in the Sierra Nevada episode, I forgave him. Those who know me and my history of raising rabbits as pets know how hard that was for me. In stark comparison, I'm still mad at Tim for considering ordering a rabbit entree at the Washington Street Bar and Grill 12 years ago while we were out on a date.
I hope you don't think any less of me for going public on my feelings. We can't choose who we fall in love with, and between him and Curtis Stone, star of TLC's Take Home Chef, it appears I'm just a sucker for guys with a funny accent. Now if only we could get Curtis to take his shirt off more often...
