Doubling Down on Twenty Ten

Dealer is showing a ten, I have 12 in my hand. Hit me.

It is only fitting that in the last remaining hours of 2009, I find myself sitting in a casino gambling. After all, I'd done nothing but gamble throughout the entire year that my finances and career could sustain the most challenging year ever.

A nine is dealt, giving me 21. Dealer has 16, then flips over a five. We push.

A man standing behind the table lights a cigarette, choking the air with thick smoke and giving me an instant headache. My mind begins to wander as I reflect on the year and situations that occurred where it felt hard to breathe and my head was ready to explode. The house flooding, along with the crushing financial burden it put on us to get it repaired, job insecurity, pay cuts, and constant changes. Every time I started to come out of one challenge, another would present itself. 2009 was a year of pushing and no matter what hand was dealt, I just couldn't seem to get ahead.

Dealer is showing a two. I hate the two. It forces me to gamble based on either odds or guts. I decide to go with odds, and they fail me. Dealer wins.

2009 started rocky and never quite recovered. I know I am not alone in this experience. So many friends went through something similar. It was a broken record. No matter how hard a worker you were, no matter how diligent you were at paying your bills on time, you were affected at least once at some point this year. Odds failed so many of us this year that most of us are only operating on our gut feelings now.

Dealer is showing a six and I have BLACKJACK! Dealer pays out.

Within three weeks of 2009 starting, I found a lump in my throat. At first I thought it was a swollen gland associated with a cold. It wasn't, and within weeks I was undergoing a double-biopsy for thyroid cancer. The diagnosis came back benign - the best possible outcome. This year may have been a steaming pile of crap in most ways, but at least I still have my health. Priorities are reset and life goes on.

Dealer is showing a six, and I have 11 in my hand. I raise my bet and double down.

There are no guarantees that 2010 is going to be any better than 2009, but I have no choice other than to gamble on it being better. I know I'm not alone in that sentiment and it is reassuring to me.

The risk of doubling down pays off. Dealer busts and I win with a 15.

I collect my winnings and cash in my chips. I'm only $25 richer as a result but after the year I had, the idea of saying goodbye to 2009 as a winner is something I absolutely have to do. Even if it was the result of a weak hand and a big gamble.

Happy 2010 to all and here's to a bright new outlook for all of us.